Knife Called Lust
by Beautiful x Deadly
Summary: If you’re looking for PERFECTION don’t look at me. I’ll only let you down.DanaLogan fic. Mainly a Tragedy but has some DramaRomance too.Rating just to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

**Introduction to my first story: Knife Called Lust**

"…_I look alive, I'm dead inside"_

* * *

Strawberry gashes line my wrist. I stare at the new cut, dark from the blood that has just poured out. I glance back at the scissors, the ones that tore thru my skin a few minutes ago. The cuts were deep, but never deep enough to kill me.

I sigh, both a sigh of relief and of disappointment. Why did he have to go out with her? **Why**? He knew I likedloved him. It was a game we played since I first came here 4 years ago, when we were 13. The first time, girls were allowed at PCA.

We played the game of hate. I yelled at him, he insulted me. He flirts with me, I stomp on his foot. It's been this way for a while until he stopped talking to me. And I wouldn't see him for days at a time.

Next time I see him, there's a girl on his arm, playing flirtatiously with his hair. **I envy her.**

I envy every girl with the cliché of a perfect life; a girl with friends, a boy who _swoons_ over her, her parents acceptance, just **everything**.

Everything I'm not, everything that I **don't** have.

I hate feeling this way. And lately it's been getting worse. At any sign of sadness, I begin to want to scratch myself, my face, my wrists, my ankles. I need to take the pain, the stress; I need it to go away. And this is my _only_ way, the only way to **release**.

I just wish I had someone to understand, before, well… it's _too_ late….

* * *

So how was that? I hope you enjoyed that Introduction.

Why didn't I post a REAL chapter? Because I want to see if anyone will even comment on this so I can find out if this is even worth creating.

Anyway, I will update as often as I can which will more then likely be every Friday, Saturday and Sunday, prior to that I actually get replies. I will also update during the week unless I am completely swamped with homework. My Social life, friends, boys, etc will also effect how much I update but I will update ASAP, if I get a lot of replies because I know what it's like to want to read more to a story and have to wait up to a week at a time for that person to actually post a new chapter.

Before I bore you to death withall my rambling,I'm off.

Please comment and give your opinions on this, whether it be a compliment or constructive criticism, I don't care, just review, please! Oh and let me know if you think I should continue with this story.

Thanks Guys!

♥ Shorty (Thats my nickname**not **my real name haha)


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 1 of: Knife Called Lust**

_"...we all got friends but we stand alone..."_

* * *

"I'm so glad he's going out with her," Chase says, "Now he won't have time to bug me about how bushy my hair is." 

I stab my fork into a piece of lettuce in frustration. Logan.  
Why is his name, his looks, everything about him, always on my every thought?

Right now, we're all at lunch. **All as in**, Zoey, Nicole, Chase, Michael and I. Logan doesn't sit with us anymore. He sits with his new girlfriend. And that's exactly who Chase is talking about. They are happy that he's not here, but I don't feel the same.

"Well, it is pretty bushy." Michael adds with a laugh.

Chase sends him a death glare from across the table, "Not helping."

"Sorry."

"So, what are we doing tonight," Zoey asks, after a few minutes of silence.

"I know! I know! Let me say something!" Nicole shrieks, twirling a strand of her dark brown hair.

"Okay, what's your idea?"

"We should go down to the Lounge and play Confess or Stress!"

Zoey sighs, "Nicole, we do that every night."

"Oh, yeah."

I roll my eyes at her. Idiot.

"What do you think we should do, Dana?" Michael asks me.

My heart is pumping. I don't want to do anything with them. I just want to be left alone.  
After what that asshole Logan did to me, I don't think I can trust anyone right now.  
Ughh. I doubt if that even makes any sense. "I can't. I'm busy."

They all look at me with confused eyes.

Zoey is the first one to speak, "What?"

"She said she was busy, duh! Zoey, I'm not even **_that_** stupid", Nicole says with a smile, but as quick as it began it starts to fade, "Wait- What?"

I stand up and pick up my tray. My grip on it is strong. My knuckles are turning pale.

"Your so dense, Nicole. I said I'm busy as in I can't hang out with you guys. Not that I'd want to."The words spill from my mouth before I even realize what I'm saying.

Zoey stands up, her brows scrunch up in anger, "Why do you have to be such a jerk, Dana? What did we do to you?"

"Why do YOU always have to be the hero? You know, Life isn't always as perfect as you make it seem!" I yell.

I'm steaming now. If this table wasn't in between Zoey and I, she would be in an ambulance right now, heading to the Hospital after getting a concussion from yours truly.

"Who said anything about Life being hard? You're the one who has an attitude problem."

"Fuck off."

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The words sting my tongue. I suddenly feel sick to my stomach. The pain I've been feeling this week is out in the open and **all over my arms.**

I press my index finger against the new line that has made its way onto my wrist from just a few seconds ago, thanks to the wonderful creation of scissors.

My finger follows the line now indented into my skin.

I sigh and lift my finger up, blood drips from the tip. I grab the scrunched up tissue next to my foot and wipe off my finger.

It's been more frequent lately. I used to just cut once in a while when I was stressed from School, but now it's like a daily routine. The Scissors are my best friend, in a sense. It's always there for me when I'm upset and helps me become happy with myself after. Once the scissors dig into my flesh, I'm okay again. **Everything** _seems_ okay, again...

* * *

Hope you liked this Chappy! Sorry if it seems to graphic, but that's just the way the story is.  
Thank you to everyone that replied. You guys are **so** kick ass. :D 

I'll update more Sunday ..as long as I get 5 replies! hehe  
You should have **KNOWN** there was going to be a catch, somewhere along the line. :P

Well, have a great the rest of your weekend! haha

♥ Shorty (My real name's Brit by the way)


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